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Wednesday, July 03, 2002 8:44 AM

Just Tell Me How to Be

Hey

It's hard to get to know you, but once people do, they're in for a wild ride. You had a rough childhood, and it reflects in your speech and mannerisms- you're focused on things like whores and crack babies, which fascinates people at first but may ultimately drive them away. Despite your somewhat depraved outward persona, you're a truly decent person who craves and deserves love and friendships.

Which Pixies song are you? Let's see here, hmmm. . . whores? Check. Crack babies? Check. Hmmmm. . . am I forgetting something? No, I think that's it. This kid's site is pretty cool (www.eyeofdog.com). I could fully see him being the next Neil Gaiman or Terry Jones. So, he asked knowingly, who the hell are you?